Blogged: Satirically Speaking
Remember when Rep. Winston “Winnie” Castelo proposed the Anti-Planking Law? It had spread like wildfire on the internet and has drawn attention not just from the Philippines but also to the world. It was even a trending topic on Twitter! A lot have posted comments about it, mostly negative.
Apparently another news, still related to Rep. Winnie, broke out about the proposal of Anti-Angry Birds Bill. Funny thing was, a LOT of people believed it.
Satire doesn’t have a place yet here in the Philippines.
Oh wait, scratch that.
Satire will never have a place here in the Philippines.
Justin Bieber is not really a 16-year old pop sensation. He’s just a 51-year old pedophile disguised with a mask who wants to be surrounded by 16 year old pubescent girls on his live performances. His songs also revealed a deeper, maniacal meaning, according to a Clinical Psychologist. LA Police also revealed a rare video footage of a 51-year old pedophile singing without the Bieber prosthetic mask.
Bullshit, Onion News Network. I thought it was true. But what the hell, nice job.
TEXT UNLISLEEP <space> ON and send to 2331 for Globe, Sun and TM Subsribers and 231 for Smart and Addict Mobile Subscribers.
Do you hate your name? Do you like the name Alexandra instead of Sandra? Well, think again. I don’t know if this is true or not but come to think of it. There are some of us who are very unfortunate to have a weird (and equally funny) name. Here are some:
1. Edgar Allan Pe
2. Jonathan Livingston Sy
3. Genghis Chan
4. Magic Chiongson
5. Chica Go
6. Benny Bilang
7. Anabelle Lat
8. Ping Guerrero
9. Bulbulito Bayagbag
10. Jogalyn Dimagiba
11. May Regla
12. Jean Claude Andam
13. Lucky T. Tinio
14. Mary Christmas Aguinaldo
15. Halina Tayo
16. De Mayo Flores
17. Richie Bab Boyboy
18. Sanctus Espiritu
19. Pining Garcia
20. Gina Jaculo
21. Philip P. Ines
22. Lulu Ang and Malou Ang
23. Inodoro Casillas Jr.
24. Fernando Pon Jr.
25. Ray Pinoco
26. Eva Manini
27. Dina Macuja
28. Dina Lego
29. Kim Arthur
30. Honeygirl Pulot-Pukyutan
31. Anne Bajo
32. Ely Pante
Haha!
Friend 1: What if kung sasali ka sa Survivor?
Me: Naku! After two weeks (granting na hindi ako ma-eliminate), hindi mo na ako marerecognize. Ambilis kaya ng growth ng stubble ko. Parang may built-in fertilizer ata epidermis ko. :(
Friend 2: Sige nga! Try mo nga na two weeks hindi ka mag-ahit.
Me: Sige nga! Para after two weeks, kamukha ko na si Ian Somerhalder.
Friend 1 & 2: Shet ka.
Me: Uhhhh, libre kayang mangarap noh?
(This is me, western version. LOL)
Friend: Huy! Palibre naman oh!
Me: Wala akong pera. Sorry!
This is actually a famous Pinoy euphemism. People don’t really mean that they’re broke or something, it’s just a less offensive way of saying this offensive statement: “Who the fuck are you? I am not your father thus I do not sponsor your unusual feeding habits. Get out of my way!”
This is me, being an antisocial.
If given a chance to own a Cremation Services business, I would name the business after me (duh) and have this unique and catchy tagline:
Bulseco’s Cremation Services: Your ash will be my cash!
Insert sinister laugh here.
Yo mama is so fat that when she checks her weight on a weighing scale, it reads “to be continued”.
Yo mama is so fat that that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean…
Yo mama is so fat that when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
Yo mama is so fat that she gets group insurance.
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
